One of my favorite things is to be surprised. Let me qualify that by saying surprised in a good way - I hate being surprised by people when they seem really awesome, but then it turns out they torture puppies in their spare time or drink their own urine. I recently had a weekend of pleasant, hilarious, and somewhat disheartening surprises.
The Saturday night of Labor Day weekend, I was off to a bar around the corner to meet up with a friend for a low-key drink to dissect her recent breakup. I arrived about 10PM and it was fairly quiet. We were talking and drinking wine, when a group of guys came into the bar. One of them and I locked eyes and I noticed that he was wearing a shirt from the local roller derby team, which I happen to be a recently retired member of. He came and stood next to me to order a drink, so I collared him and asked if he was a derby fan or if he knew someone on the team. We talked and flirted and fell into heat with each other. He is a pharmacist at a local hospital (hence his nickname coined by my best gay: The Apothecary) and lives around the corner. And he is also a roller derby fan. After a couple of hours, I was headed out, so he took my number and commenced to texting me repeatedly to come meet him at another bar. I met up with him at another place in the neighborhood later. And of course I took him home. I think you know me well enough at this point, Reader. I didn’t meet up with him again to play Parcheesi.
Earlier that day, a small storm had blown through and knocked out the power in my neighborhood. When the Apothecary and I got to my house, the power was still out so we fumbled around in the dark for a minute before I decided that I was just going to take him out to the back deck. It was that last hot night of summer and my deck is pretty private during the day, and perfect for getting naughty at night.
Apothecary and I are naked on my wicker couch on the deck, and I am straddling him and going to town. All of a sudden, a pack of what at first appears to be Storm Troopers comes walking through my back yard and my neighbor's back yard, in full jumpsuited regalia, with lights on their helmets. Because guess where the blown transformer apparently is? ON A POLE IN MY BACKYARD. Apothecary and I freeze for a second and I let a gasp escape - causing all lighted heads to turn our way. Holy God. We jump up, grab our clothes and run into the house, under the spotlight of the guys from the power company. We crack up for about 2 minutes once we get inside, doubled over in the kitchen, hysterical. It was on the tip of my tongue to say, "I've done that a million times and never been busted!" but that really seemed like the wrong thing to say at that moment.
We head to the bedroom and have crazy sex for another hour or so - until all the lights in my house come on, causing us to crack up again. And another lovely surprise? Despite being just my height, the Apothecary is packing. And is smart and funny and snuggly. So he stays over, leaves in the morning after yet another round of great sex, and actually says wants to get together again. Anyone who reads this blog should know what a surprise THAT is.
That very next night (Stumble Home Sunday), my girlfriends and I are heading into a bar around midnight, trashed from going to dinner at 6 and ending up getting stuck into the cocktails for the duration. As we walk into the next place, I get yet another lovely surprise, the Apothecary strolls in just ahead of me. I tap him and smile, and he looks like he won the lottery when he sees me. God, that was adorable. We start talking and his friends sort of sidle up and try to ask in a drunk but discreet way, "Is this the girl from the deck?" It's ok, I reassure him, that was a story too good not to share, and I told all my friends too. He sticks around me for the night and I take him home again, practically raping him in the cab on the way to my house. One memorable thing about him besides his amazing dick is the noises he makes - the best moans and growls ever. I do enjoy a growler.
I summon him a week later. He works the night shift at the hospital, so I have him come over on Saturday morning when he gets off work. I hide my key for him, and he lets himself in. I wake up to him walking into my room in his scrubs (never really realized how sexy they can be, but please take note) and he strips down and attacks me. (Another note - men like girls in wife beaters with no bra. You're welcome.) We have sex and then start talking. He's where the final surprise happens - this guy is just lovely. He has a garden in his back yard, and has picked raspberries for the beer he and his brother are making. He grew his own pumpkins last year, roasted them and made his own ice cream with them. He needs to pick his herbs so that he can dry some for the winter. He does a bike ride across Iowa (where he's from) with friends every July. He wrestled in college, and changed from engineering to pharmacy because the engineers were too nerdy.
I finally have to tell him that he needs to stop talking. I pretend that it's so that I can kiss him and get him going again, but that's not true. I can feel myself approaching the edge of the abyss and I need to step back. He is totally someone I could be interested in. He has the things that I am looking for (yes, I have a list - that's a later post, I'm pretty sure). Plus there is not one arrogant thing about this guy, he's charming without being smarmy and is almost a bit shy. So what's the problem? Now I'm just the girl he met in a bar and fucked. Unfortunately, this seems to be how most guys work. I, personally, am an equal opportunity slut - just because we had sex before we knew each other's last names does not negate your chances of being seen with me in public or daylight. I can see past your dick to see if you've got something else going for you, and I'm down with finding out if we click outside of the bedroom. But this does not seem to be the way of the male world. If you're a girl who fucks strangers in a bar, you're not someone they're going to ask out to dinner. Just a theory, rooted in a lot of personal research. I hate it when I pick up and sleep with someone who turns out to be awesome (see also: Reddi Whip guy). So now I have to decide if I can just continue to beckon him without letting anything get in the way of it just being for fun, or I have to cut him off completely, because I'm already digging him and there's just no going back for me - the only thing lies ahead is sleeping with him until he gets bored and then I'm bummed because he wasn't into me the way I was into him. Neither one seems like a very good scenario for me. Probably should quit while I'm ahead, n'est ce pas? That's what I think, too. But maybe just one more time…
- Rita
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